Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Overwhelmed

Confession: Sometimes it's just too much, this pastor business. Or in my case, this pastor's wife business.

I know what I signed up for. I knew that when I married Allen there would be seasons (specifically summer) of living in Crazytown. I've known some professional baseball players' wives over the years, and during the season they call themselves baseball widows. In the summer, I endearingly refer to myself as a youth pastor widow. Again, I knew what I was signing up for, and I also knew there would be years of being able to go with him, years of not being able to go with him, and years of somewhere in between. Right now, and for several years with the kids being the ages they are, I pick either youth camp or mission trip and that's my week to accompany the group as a sponsor, while my rockstar mother in law holds the fort down. When they're teenagers, maybe I'll go on more trips with the youth group….or maybe I'll stay home and relax in my quiet house, and not cook for anyone all week. Almost paradise.

There have been a few summers over the years where there just seems to be more 'stuff' than usual. This is one of those summers.
Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Allen has a lot on his plate right now. A lot. He's amazing, and so good at what he does, and I know everything will work out, and God is in control, and He doesn't give us more than we can handle, and all the other cliché Christian things to say. I know that.
But when I pull my trusty iCalendar up to look at our summer, its just too much. On top of the usual youth pastor stuff, he's responsible, as of a couple weeks ago, for all the children's ministry activities too. Fortunately, my kids are both of the age where they fall into that children's ministry range, so this somehow softens proverbial blow. We'll all be at VBS, Colby and Molly will both be at day camp with Allen, and I'll probably be out there for a couple of days, too. I'll be at our youth camp as a sponsor, and there's a week that he's speaking at a (different) youth camp where the kids and I will go and be able to get some time with him in the afternoons. When I lay it all out like that, it's not quite as 'Oh, my land, I'm not going to see my husband all summer, and my kids are going to forget who their father is,' but to look at it on paper my iPad screen, I kind of just want to go into hibernation for the next 8 weeks.

So here's where I'm at, at least for today.
I resolve to not let Satan rob me of my joy.
I resolve to enjoy the next 48 hours with my family (a sweet family in our church has given us their lake house thru Thursday, and we're heading out in a couple hours…I should be packing.) and not zero in on the chaos that's about to ensue.
I resolve to make the most of each morning/afternoon/evening I have with my husband and my kids all together.
I resolve to not dwell on things that are beyond my control.
I resolve to trust God. He is faithful….and good. Perhaps I need to go read my post from last week.

Psalm 61:2-- From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety.

2 Corinthians 4:17-- For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.

Philippians 4:6-- Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.

What overwhelms you? What do you need to tryst God with right now?


1 comment:

Caitlyn Wymer said...

"My kids are going to forget who their father is." This is why I like you, among so many other reasons. ;) Praying for balance and lots of quality moments for y'all. Maybe God could pull a few more of those days where he makes the sun stand still?